Finding My Strength...

     Over the years I have thought of strength as something that at times I lacked but I was able to hide behind a false image, a facade. I was able to easily hide behind jokes and my work for many years but when I was laidoff I was faced with an immense amount of time on my hands. It didn't take long to realize that I wasn't completely in control of my emotions and being a complete control freak made me feel weak. 
     I tried and tried to hide away those feelings but with time they wore me down. I discovered RAINN by recommendation of a friend and I can honestly say that first call changed my life... I felt completely terrified of what the person on the other line might think of me but by the end of the call I was one step closer to finding some of my strength back. RAINN throughout the years has helped me not only heal but grow to become a survivor. A simple thank you just isn't enough for what they have done for me and so many others. Unfortunately we can revert to our weaknesses when we are least expecting it. . . . 
     I have recently been feeling that same haunting feeling of weakness. . . . Sometimes it's easily concealed and other times it's tears pouring from my eyes when I'm alone. For weeks I've struggled with this because of some professional changes I've decided to take on but the truth is sometimes your strength is in the people within your support system who can see your cracks before you can. I have been blessed with amazing people in my life who are loving and kind but most importantly supportive of me in this journey. 
     Sometimes we forget they are there because the emotions inside are coming on to strong, I realized recently how lucky I am to have certain people in my life who are just there to be a friend sitting next to me in silence or to listen when I'm ready to share without judgement... I always though being strong could only be from my own thoughts and actions but I was wrong... It comes from all of that but also the thoughts and actions of those close to me. 
     Thank you to everyone who has been a loving and caring support in my life and through the process of writing my story. So many of you have touched my life and I hope that someday when I have the opportunity to tell you how grateful I am that I will have the strength to do so... 
       If there is anyone who may need to talk in regards to Sexual or Domestic Violence please contact RAINN!
https://ohl.rainn.org/online/ This organization helps victims, family members, and friends affected by these situations. They are 24/7 and truly some of the kindest people I have ever spoken with. Thanks for reading everyone, God Bless. 

~ Talie Marie

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